Where should I go?

My thoughts on where I want to be as a Software Engineer

April 01, 2020

Thoughts 💭

4 min read

As some of you might've already know looking at my previous post, I've had interest in learning some iOS Programming. Truth to be told, I did not complete the course (yet again 😔) and still hoping to learn iOS development in the future.

But, in addition to that, one thought caught my attention: why do I want to learn iOS Programming so badly?

I took a moment to contemplate very deeply about why I actually enjoyed and started learning programming at the beginning. And it all boils down to this core reason: I enjoy making things. Now, the word things in this context can be defined as anything: Hardware, Software, my imaginary world (I use to write fantasy novel in a world that I created) etc. I realized I really enjoy practicing the art of creating. It is my passion. Then, here comes an another question: why do I enjoy making things?

After thinking about this issue deeply, I realized there's one fundamental reason behind this. It's because I realized that I found extreme appreciation and value in empowering myself to create my own little world. The world that I imagine.

Every human being seems to have a desire in something that makes them feel, powerful. That could be anything: money, social hierarchy and position, knowledge, and list goes on. I think for me, the main source of this empowerment as a human being is my knowledge and the ability to actuate my imagination to real life. In other words, skills or ability. Of course, there are other factors that influences me in this, but in my real deep honest contemplation, this is the core reason.

This gave me a hard hit on my head. I realized, not only I want to learn iOS development, I wanted to learn everything that empowers me to create the world that I imagine. Then I started list out all different things that seems to help me to do that:

  • iOS Development
  • macOS Development
  • Hardware Programming
  • Three.js (Creative Web)
  • Understanding how electronics works
  • Understanding how OS works
  • Computer Security
  • ... (pretty much I seem to want to learn everything about Computer Science)

And while writing down this list, I soon realized most of these lists stemmed from my desire to want to freely build tools and gadgets and a world that are limited to my imagination.

After going through my thoughts on this, I could finally see where I wanted to go as a Software Engineer. I always had my unconscious desire of becoming someone that I imagine to be, but every single time I did not know which direction is correct. But I think now I finally know.

Seeing this, I now feel relieved and safe - no longer I feel like I am wasting my energy and time going to a direction which I may regret. I feel, back in control. It's crystal clear what I want, and where I should go.

So here's what I am thinking of doing for my next agenda of my Software Engineering life. Although I enjoy doing web development (it's still part of me able to build beautiful things), my direction as a software engineer will be:

  • Hardware Programming
  • iOS / macOS programming
  • Backend Development
  • Web Development
  • Creative Programming

The lists above almost seem to be too broad for someone to do in a lifetime, but hey, I've been living in my dreams since I started programming. I wish no more regrets in my life. I know in my bones that I will regret if I don't try the things I've listed above.

Another interesting thought that came to my mind is that one of my favorite movie is Iron Man. Perhaps the reason behind why I am so passionate about making things is Tony Stark and his garage.